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U susret izvesnijim vremenima..
zlatiborac
2021-03-03 04:20 PM
With Age Comes Wisdom
__________________________

1. Your investment in health insurance is finally begininng to pay off.

2. Your joints are more accurate at predicting the weather then the
national weather service.

3. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can`t
remember them either.
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Young Son: Dad, I heard that in some parts in Africa a man does`nt know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in the most
countries,son.
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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it`s limits.
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Santaaaa...!!!

vodena
(*)
2021-03-03 04:23 PM
Ili, sto moj tata kaže:’Sa godinama supruznici pocinju da lice. Na primer meni rastu sise a mami brkovi’:)
zlatiborac
2021-03-03 04:37 PM
Posle uobicajene bracne prepirke:

Kaže on Njoj, 'ako ti odes pre mene, napisacu na spomeniku':
ovde lezi moja bivša - hladna kao sto je uvek i bila'.

Ona uzvraca: 'ako ti odes pre mene (a verovatno da hoćeš), napisacu:
'ovde lezi moj pocivsi - konacno krut'.
zlatiborac
2021-03-03 08:38 PM
OLDER & WISER
_____________

An old phisican, Dr. Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement
and decided to re-open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside
that said:„Dr. Geezer`s Clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured,get back $1.000”.
Dr. Digger Young, who was positive that this older geezer didn`t know beans about medicine thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1.000. So he went to Dr. Geezer`s clinic.

Dr. Young:„Dr. Geezer I have lost all the taste in my mouth. Can you help me?”
Dr. Geezr:„Nurse,please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr.Young`s mouth.
Dr. Young:”Aaagh!- This is Gasoline!„
Dr. Geezer:”Congratulations! You`ve got your taste back. That will
be $500„.
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple days figuring
to recover his money.
Dr. Young:” I have lost my memory I cannot remember anything.„
Dr. Geezer:” Nurse,please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in patient mouth„.
Dr. Young:”Oh no you don`t - that is Gasoline!„
Dr. Geezer: ”Congratulations!You got your memory back. That will be $500.„
Dr. Young (after having lost $1.000)leaves angrily and comes after several more days.
Dr. Young:”My eyesight has become weak-I can hardly see anythung!„
Dr Geezer:” Well I don`t have any medicine for that so „Here`s
yor $1.000 back (giving him a $10 bill)
Dr. Young:”but this is only $10„.
Dr. Geezer:”Congradulations!You got your vision back! That will
be $500!„

Moral story - Just because you`re 'Young' dosen`t mean that you can outsmart an ”old Geezer„.”
santa
2021-03-03 09:09 PM
Keep the Motor Running

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. „This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?” He answered, „You've got to keep that old motor running.” The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, „You really are amazing. How do you do it?” He again said, „You've got to keep the old motor running.” The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, „You must be quite a man.” He responded, „You've got to keep that old motor running.” The nurse then said, „Well, you had better change the oil, this one's black!”
zlatiborac
2021-03-03 09:55 PM
ENGLISH IS VERY FUUUNY LANGUAGE.

No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between
„complete” and „finish”.
However,during a recent linguistic conference,held in London,England.
Samsundar Balgobin,a Guyanese linguist,was asked to make that very
distinction. The question by a colleague in the erudite audience was
this:„Some say there is no diference between ”complete„ and ”finish„. Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.

Mr. Balgobin`s response:”When you marry the right woman,you are
„complete”. If you marry the wrong woman,you are „finish”. And, if
the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are „completley
finish”.

(His answer received a five minute standing ovation)

zlatiborac
2021-03-03 10:17 PM
A poem written by an African Shakespere:

Dear white fella,couple things you should know:

When I was born,I black
When I grow up,I black
When I go in sun,I black
When I cold, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick,I black,
When I die, I still black.

You white fella,

When you born,you pink
When you grow up,you white
When you go in sun,you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
Whwn you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey

And you have fuc**** nerve to call me colored?„

p.s. dosta za danas...”
pravda_i_istina
2021-03-07 04:14 PM
santa, zoks ako naidje na ovaj vic. ...

ja sad shvatam da ste vas dvojica jedan isti novcic, ili medalja, samo druga strana... ili isti stap, samo drugi kraj
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